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My parasite is asleep. It hibernates now. I
wish I could reach inside and rip it out, along with the decay it created.
But to do so would would mean to die. The parasite is lodged in my brain.
My parasite is a strange creature. I don't know what it looks like but I have witnessed what it does. Some of it I can't remember. Maybe that's a good thing. Many have suffered through my creature's existence as it reached out from me and into the lives of others.
My parasite protects me. When it was awake, it made me a very cunning and manipulative person. I became a liar, cheat and thief. It's sole purpose is to destroy. It is very intelligent - it chooses not to end my life until everything and everyone I love has been destroyed first. Even then, it may let me live. But I might not know my name or what year it is any more.
My parasite fooled me. I thought it liberated me and allowed me to be whatever I wanted. It did, but only in my own mind. And then it took that away too. It whispered to me that it was my friend, and then laughed in my face. It took away all my problems; then returned to me one thousand fold.
My parasite likes to play games. It used to make my body shake and sweat uncontrollably. It produced images and sounds that weren't there. It gave me sensations of things crawling under my skin. My parasite thought making my internal organs quiver involuntarily was very amusing. It made me play with razors, knives, ropes and guns. But it wouldn't allow me to play that game to the end. That was too easy and would have destroyed it in the process. There was more fun to be had.
My parasite was the puppet master. I was the puppet.
My parasite was lazy. It didn't want me to learn anything or go to work. I tried many times to do so, but then it would beckon me to do other things. These things were more important. These things fueled it, nourished it. Who was I to say no? If I didn't listen it would run around in my mind, yelling and screaming until I gave in.
My parasite really liked people. Especially gentle, trusting souls. They were an easy target.
In the end, all it gave me was oblivion
-for increasingly shorter periods. Pain made sure of that.
Kurt Cobain (Nirvana) - Lithium -
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